Part 1 of 4: Being Your Best
1.
Make intimacy a priority.It's easy to get caught up in our lives and feel too busy for intimacy, especially if we've been with someone for awhile. However, relationships that leave one or both parties feeling unsatisfied just can't last. Make time for intimacy to keep the fires burning strong.
- If you have kids that are a bit older, tell them that you've both had a very long day and you're tired so you're going to go to bed.
- If you have younger kids, get them into bed at a fairly early hour.
- Avoid only being intimate very sporadically, like when you take trips or set aside a "date night" once or twice a year. This is not good for a relationship.
2.
Emphasize consent.Make sure that everyone involved is happy and giving full consent before getting too serious. This is important for both men and women. If your partner is drunk enough to see giant purple mole-rats, you should not be getting intimate. Get a "yes", not an "I guess".
3.
Ditch the cultural hype.
Don't expect sex to be like it is in porn and don't expect your partner to look like a supermodel. And especially don't expect yourself to look one way or another. This will make you and them insecure and uncomfortable, reducing pleasure for everyone involved.
4.
Do some research.If you want to find out more about what feels good to your partner, do some research. Read romance novels written for that gender or read advice columns online to find out ideas of what feels good and what doesn't.
5.
Be appealing.We don't mean lose weight or get bigger (insert body part): your partner is with you because they already think you're sexy. When we say be appealing, we mean have good hygiene. Wear decent clothes. That kind of thing. Weight is subjective but very few people are turned on by the smell of week-old sweat.
6.
Watch your partner's reactions.
Watch how your partner reacts to things. If they respond well to
something you do, do more of that! If they seem uncomfortable, stop!
Look for the subtle cues they give you, like putting your hand in a
certain place. You can even try mimicking the things that they do to you
as oftentimes it is their way of asking for something in particular.
7.
Slow down.Slow down everything about your intimate relationship. Build up to intimate acts slowly, by embracing the subtle art of The Make Out and other types of foreplay. You should slow down the act itself too! This extends and heightens pleasure for all involved parties.
8.
Be unselfish.You do, of course, also need to get enjoyment from your intimate relationship, but focusing on your partner and making sure that they are satisfied and feeling amazing will go a long way towards improving the relationship and making them want to reciprocate.
9.
Explore your partner.We all know the few basic places our partners like to be touched, but don't forget to explore their whole body! People are sensitive in all sorts of places and to all sorts of different degrees. You may find that your partner goes nuts if you kiss them on the back of their knee! You never know!
10.
Become the master of the kiss.Being a great kisser is important and being a bad one can be a real turn-off. Master the art of kissing before trying to master anything else!
11.
Switch things up. Don't
let your intimate relationship become a routine. Avoid using the same
positioning or the same location or the same time of day. Making a
routine takes away a lot of the romance and enjoyment for everyone.
Break out of your mold and switch things up every now and again to keep
your romance alive.
12.
Be open minded. Human
sexuality, like most things with humans, is incredibly complex. Everyone
is different. And because we are all different, the range for what is
actually normal is incredibly large. Never close your mind to anything,
because you may be surprised at how much you or your partner enjoy
something you never considered before. Try things, and if you enjoy
them, keep doing it!What about sex?
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